Links POEtry Madness 2: Enter The POE!
by Sol and Luna
Summary: sequal to Links POEtry Madness. Will Link EVER finish????


Sol: HI!!!! I did this fic on my own!!!!!!!!

Luna: And I approved it!!!!

Sol: Tell me what you think!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (If you don't I will turn you into a jellybean. I, too, have that kind of power. MWUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!) 

Luna: (backs away slowly) eh...hehe... Enjoy!

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(Everyone is once again gathered in Kakariko Village, and Link is once again on stage.)

  


Link: Now, let's try this again. *AHEM!* I will now recite the lovely poem "Lenore" by the famed Edger Allen Poe, whose–

Navi: POE?! EEEEEEK!!!!!!

Link: Navi, I don't mean–

Navi: EEEK EEEK EEEK!!!!

Mido: Navi, EDGER ALLEN Poe was a famous writer.

Navi: But he was a POE!!!

Mido: No, Navi, he was a human.

Navi: OOOh. Ok.

Ruto: Continue, Linky-Rinky-Roo. I wanna hear your pretty-witty poem!

(Everyone laughs.)

Link: (sweat-drops, embarrassed and annoyed) Uh, ok Ruto.(mutters under his breath) Someone save me.

Ruto: What was that?

Link: Oh, uh, I said, uh, You look Pretty! You do look very pretty this morning.

Malon: Uh-Huh. SURE. You REALLY said that.

Ruto: Well, I AM wearing a new shirt! Thanks for noticing, Linky-Tinky-Too!

(Everyone laughs)

Link: (sweat-drops) Uh, Ruto, can you stop calling me those nick-names please?

Ruto: Of course, Linky-Dinky-Doo!! Oops!

Link: Ok, can I please continue?

Malon: Please do. (Mutters) Anything to keep HER from talking.

Link: Ok.

Ah, broken is the golden bowl!– the spirit flown forever!

Let the bell toll!– a stately soul floats on the Stygian river;

Navi: Uh, Link, where's the Stygian River?

Link: Uh–

Mido: No one really knows, actually. Some people think that it's another name for the river Styx, a river important in Greek mythology, because it was the basic rout into the underworld, which was where souls would go to–

Navi: Yeah, yeah. I got it. Thanks Mido.

Link: Ok, moving on,

And Guy De Vere, hast THOU no tear?– weep now or never more!

(Suddenly the door to the potions shop slams shut. Everyone turns around to see Ganondorf looking REALLY mad.)

Ganondorf: They're... OUT... OF... SNICKERS BARS!!!!!!!

Navi: Why were you at the potions shop looking for Snickers Bars?

Ganondorf: Well, they CARRY them now! 

Ruto: Oh! I guess I got the last one. Sorry Ganondorf, I'm saving it for later.

(Ganondorf drools when he sees the Snickers bar sticking out of her pocket.)

Ruto: Continue, Linky-Binky-Boo.

(Everyone laughs)

Link: I thought I asked you to stop calling me those names.

Ruto: Oh, really? Sorry!

Link: Ok the,

Seel on your drear and rigid bier low lies thy love, Lenore!

Ruto: Wait just a second! Did you just say "MY love, LENORE"? Who's Lenore?? Link, I KNEW you were cheating on me!!!!! I KNEW IT!!!!!

Link: Ruto, I'm not–

Ruto: Shut up! Just SHUT UP!! I knew it! I don't hear you denying it!!!! Who IS this 'Lenore'? 

Malon: Oh, I'll bet it's that new girl at the book store. ALL the guys LOVE her, but EVERYONE knows she's got a crush on Link.

Link: (slaps hand on forehead) Malon, can you stay out of this?

Ruto: I'll bet THAT'S where you were when you said you were going out to get groceries. With HER. With LENORE.

Link: Ruto, no! This is–

Mido: Ruto, first of all, Link said THY, not MY. Though I can understand his pronunciation could lead you to believe he said the similar word. (Link sweat-drops) Secondly, Lenore is dead. It even says so in the poem, which also, I might add, was not written by Link. It was written by Edger Allen Poe.

Navi: Poe???? EEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!!!!!

Malon: The AUTHOR, not the... creature.

Navi: Oh.

Ganondorf: I'll give you a REALLY big ruby if you give me the Snickers.

Ruto: Nope, I'm sharing it with Linky-Finky-Foo later.

Link: RUTO! PLEASE don't call me that!!

Ruto: Ok, Linky-Stinky-Stoo.

Link: OR THAT!

Ruto: Linky-Rinky-Roo?

Link: Oh, whatever...

Come, let the burial rite be read– the funeral song be sung! –

An anthem for the–

Malon: Psst! Navi, look, a POE!

Navi: A POE????? EEEEEEEK!!! Where?!?! Where?!?!

Malon: HAHAHA!!! Gotcha!!

Navi: YOU'RE MEAN!!!

Malon: YOU'RE UGLY!!!

Navi: NOT UGLIER THAN YOU!!!

Malon: BITCH!!!

Navi: SLUT!!!

Malon: WHORE!!!

(Mido breaks the fight up)

Link: Ok, now can we PLEASE continue????????

Navi: Ok!

Zelda: *SNORE!!!!!*

Malon: UGH! Just GO Link!!!

Link: Ok.

An anthem for the queenliest dead that ever died so young–

Ganondorf: Give me the Snickers.

Ruto: No!

Ganondorf: Give... Me... The Snickers.

Ruto: Not on your life, redead breath!!!

Ganondorf: GIVE ME THE SNICKERS!!!!!!

Ruto: NEVER!!!!

Link: SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!

(Everyone looks at him.)

Ruto: What's the matter, Linky-Pinky-Jinky-Sinky-Winky-Vink–

Link: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Link jumps off stage and slices Ruto into tiny pieces.)

Ganondorf: YESSSSSSSS!!!!!!! THE SNICKERS IS MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHA! (Grabs the Snickers bar out of Ruto's pocket and starts running down the road...)

Ganondorf: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! SNICKERS!!!!!! HAHAHA!!!!

(...Until he's stopped by a van that says 'Tiny Minds Insane Asylum.)

Ganondorf: Huh?

(Two men in white uniforms get out.)

Man One: Uh...why are you running down the street like a crazy person?

Ganondorf: The Snickers is MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHA!!!!!

Man Two: Uh...Huh.... can you come with us for a moment please?

(Both men take out a straight-jacket from the back of the van.)

Man One: Now, we're going to show you how to put on the nice white jacket, and then we're going to show you the pretty white room with the pillows on the walls. Ok?

Ganondorf: Ok. MINE!!!!!!!! 

(Both men lock Ganondorf into the straight jacket, throw him in the back of the truck, and drive away.)

Mido: Well, that was a little...

Malon: Strange...

Navi: Yeah. And I thought we were just here to hear a poem by this Edger Allen Poe guy.

(Suddenly, a poe swoops in on them.)

Poe: Did somebody call for a poe?

Mido, Malon, Navi: A POE!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!

(They all run away, while Link bangs his forehead repeatedly against the wall of the shop.)

Zelda: (finally waking up.) Oh My, where is everybody?

Poe: Search me. They ran off when I got here.

(Zelda gets up and walks away, while the poe just sits there and watches Link bang his head against the wall.)

Poe: Wonder what's wrong with him. Oh well...

  


THE END!!!!

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Sol: Well, did you like it??????? TELL ME!!!!!


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